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Description

This book contains the poems I wrote between the ages of thirteen to forty-two. These were also the years I suffered with deep depression, and crippling social anxiety. Not all of these poems are about my battles with mental health. Some are simply about butterflies and four-leaf clovers. But they all have meaning, and I share their meaning, with a running commentary about what it was like for me to journey through the first half of my life with a depressed and anxious mind. This book is the story of my life to date. While there are many different, reoccurring themes, this is mainly a story about love. My love of words, and of writing. My love for nature's wonders. My constant search for a love to last a lifetime. A search that would always end in futility, however, for I could never find love for myself, within myself. Which is why this is also a book about depression and anxiety; loneliness and desperation; fear and loathing. Depression and anxiety are still not subjects often discussed in our society. Many people find it a dark and uncomfortable topic of conversation. But it is a conversation that we all should have, for I am confident in saying that we all know someone that is hurting. Isolating themselves. Turning away from good fortune, even if it falls in their lap. Dying, alone. My life to date has been defined by missed opportunities at happiness, and solitary moments spent struggling under the weight of a depressed and anxious mind. I have rarely shared my poetry, and almost never shared my struggles. But I feel that the time is now right, so I offer them both to you, accompanied by some of my oil paintings, to help brighten the mood.